he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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