We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
