am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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