I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
