How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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