Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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