i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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