people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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