How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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