careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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