I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize