ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
