OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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