And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize