Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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