Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
