I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
