Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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