Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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