he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
