in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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