There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
