you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
