he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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