Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
