took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
