i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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