ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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