So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
