Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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