My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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