ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
