I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
