So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
