You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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