his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
