Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
