nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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