Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
