After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
