She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
