every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
