Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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