When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
