You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
