What did we do last night that was yellow?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
