I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
