yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
