Whod you bang
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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