Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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