Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
