You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
