well you can't waste a boner
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
