So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
