Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Come see our sink grown plant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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