i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
