I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize