found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
