i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bang-toberfest begins!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
