You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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